rollercoastering

in addition to the crazy deja vu lately, and hanging out with a group of concentrated awesome people, i've felt like i'm having a panic attack (just shy of the sweating stage) as well, for like the past week!

wtf???! i swear on all thats sugary and spicy i don't know whats going on. I've had hints of this before, like small, butterfly in my tumbly or something, but not this much, this often before. what an interesting time this all is.


i finally found the "clone" of me up here, guy named Vince, and he offered me a job as security. Its interesting, though we share so many similarities, he's still quite different. Same ages, but he's been divorced already, has 2 kids, and is just getting out of the army. He reminds me of what Might Have Happened, also, he's a bantam weight drinker. two shots of silver patron and 2 stoley's and he was throwing himself at Spike and Lady (the two aerial artists i've been spending time with.)

Last nite was their last nite in town, and we all went out. For me, it was a concentrated night of existential study of Vince, and getting to know mel and zay better. On top of that, my mind was REELING from it all (these two would be so easy to fall in love with, though i didn't really. i just feel like the time was too quick, but since i plan on working and seeing them again later in life, its ok), i also saw a fucking awesome movie The Illusionist, go see it.

i also ate Qdoba which tasted great and hurt like a flaming hellspawn dreamcatcher this morning.

im still all panicy attacky right now, and i was advised to drink our tea, (uncaffinated) so we'll see how im doing later.