sinko de my oh.

meh. im not much for drinking today. I understand some, or all, of you may not approve of my current affinity for a certain light-my-fire kind of experience. Except that i'd be lying if i said it was just to escape, relax, or whatever similar similies. I have a weird biological make-up, we know this, and the halflings pipe filler has an interesting effect.

Imagine what would happen if i could focus, remarkably intently, within my mind. Affected by the time-dilation and perhaps some few other effects, my mind has been in overdrive for a while. I don't think i could ever get anyone to understand. i'm not trying to sound melodramatic (mellow drum attic?) but its just the context of the experiences is so....wordless. And we're talking about me here, mile-a-minute motor-mouth with a not too shabby vocabulary. It will take me a little longer to be able to describe it better. I don't ask this lightly, but please trust me a little on this. I'm not the type to drink (or any other substance imbibement) until i can't feel feelings or something like that. I experiment. I push farther than i think i can go, and see where im at.

On a sidenote, i'm allergic to this stuff (big surprise), so there's no fear that it will become a habit. It goes into the "plants im allergic to" pile. Its not lethal because of the "low" dosages, but i can still feel it in my throat. It seems this "allergy" is only gastrointestinal in nature, which is ok i guess. Its the side-effects that have helped me achieve some rather lengthy information. I'm trying really hard to not say "opened new doors", because its so cliche. Meh, i probably am a cliche. go figure.

...

In other news, i learned that one of the hot girls at work has a twin sister. I subsequently spent the rest of the day thinking about twins. :D

To those who wrote me replies and emails, i sincerely apologize for the lengthy reply time. I admit that i feel i need a little bit more time with myself before i can give out what i feel is a satisfactory and well-rounded responses. To the Emily's out there who were online and didn't even post a comment or write an email, ooooo! That wasn't cool. That almost popped my balloon from getting an awesome email from dion and a comment from my brother.

...

To go about what i'm delving into my own brain for lately, it has to do with either possible parallel me's, possible other pasts/futures of me, or something of the sort. It all has to do with where I am, how i got here, and other possibilities that may have happened. I'm trying to figure out which is what exactly. Imagine turning on the TV and seeing the middle of a show starring...you. Now what? The fact that its you in there is hardly negotiable, regardless of the fact that you know you hadn't done the show. The you in there is you. Now instead of watching yourself on TV, you are getting the first person point of view of the you in the show. Thats what I'm getting. I sound like a loony bin. I know.

In fact, my own sanity and my priorites have been in question a bit. Its hard to do that, i hope it doesn't sound emo. I'm not sad, i will tell you that right now. I am same old retarded happy all the time Deadpool fan. right now i'm just, well, serious i guess. Sharp. On Key. Which is what i need when thinking about the world, myself, and action. I'm just letting you know the long way around that i need some more time before i go about describing what i've been going through.

It'll be worth it (isn't it always?).

love you guys, bye.

PS: just to leave you on a happy note, think about hot, sexy twins! Hooray!