bubble, bubble...

my emotions were going haywire today. i have no idea what on earth was going on. oh sure my brain was fine, i was as rational as ever (lol i know) but my emotions were going off the chart in both directions, and i don't know why. if i tried to describe it, i would sound like a bipolar issue ridden woman. i was tearing up at certain points, and i was dead as a doornail (ice cold) at others. i mean, they are all still parts of me, i wasn't acting out of character really, but its been a weird, weird day. normally, this many emotions don't get a chance to emote so much in one day.

the tearing up parts (that is tear as in eyeball leakage tear, not tear as in i tore my shorts) were the most.....what, alarming? they were throwing me for a loop. when i was already looping. i suspect it has to do with what i love.

you know whats really, really dangerous? being in love with something so encapsulatingly that you have no fear of it. and what i love knows that im not afraid of it. instead of terror, i feel awe. its beauty is enchanting, not threatening! where else is but music, this is the Muse!

so thats where part of my craziness comes from. love is straight up insanity for the brains logic. my brain helps keep ME in check, love is none of its business. the rest of my craziness is because im a robot who thinks its a man.

my love is real, but i am not. :)