WOOOOOOO!!!

That barely explains the amount of total sweetness that was my evening.

I got stripped to my boxers, laid down on a velvet box, and 4 smoking hot women grinded themselves on me, sat on my face, rubbed me all over (tickled me!), peeked down my boxers, rubbed big boobies on me...

And i loved every second of it! Man! Then i got a few private lapdances...oh MAN!!!

see, this is what i've been looking for all my life. A woman who grinds me like that. I know they were doing it for my $$$, but that doesn't bother me. It was so....completely awesome to be paid attention to like that. no pun intended. I want that everyday.

and then, later on, on the way home, i realized what a lonely person i am. I mean sure, I'm a fun loving, happy guy! Doesn't mean im not lonely. I <3 me, thats for sure, but its not enough in the end. Bummer. It was nice to experience a taste of what i want and been wanting so badly: an incredibly beautiful woman just grinding and rubbing me all over. Not to mention 4 at once!

so i guess i needed to realize how lonely i was or something? whatever. At least i've got a sharper image of the type of woman i want/need in my life. I now join the ranks of millions, nay billions of men who would like to go home with a stripper. Come home to one more like.

i wish my completely fucking zapped cousin would eat and goto bed. its 3 in the morning here.

Man. Totally fucking sweet nite, and a bit of a down note to. I'm definitely going back. A lot.

Where else is there for me to go? maybe im too simple? maybe whatever. I know my problems, i've just stated one of them: lonely, hello! need companion. Fucking WHY i'll never know, can't for the life of me figure out why i can't just be by myself. Guess its like ignorance really. Wishing one was ignorant sounds like it would be complete bliss....when you know it really isn't because life isn't static like that. Change comes and once something new comes and breaks that ignorant blissful bubble, theres no going back. And thats akin to where i'm at. I can't ever be alone now, and still be whole. Bummer.

Siiiigh. Must become whatever it takes to achieve meriting a woman as such. No inhibitions. Fucking stereotypes. Why do guys have to be the assertive ones? It just turns us into assholes. Thats what i became, an asshole because i thought i had to be assertive because no girls were! Well now i KNOW that they exist! I just had a few of them grinding me til i almost burst! My head is still reeling, just from the pure high of it all! No alcohol, no drugs, nothing! Just the ecstasy of the experience still washing over me. The shirt i got for it still smells like them...

They exist. She exists. And i perhaps still exist in La La land, but an aspiring Perfect Man nonetheless.

Oh yes they exist! how comforting! A goal in mind do i have. indeed!